Pastor Osteen and Christian Narcissism: Symptom of a Larger Problem

2 09 2014

Daniel B. Wallace

Posted on August 27, 2014 on Youtube was an upbeat little clip from Pastor Osteen in Houston. But not the pastor you are probably thinking of. No, this is not Joel Osteen but his wife and co-pastor, Victoria.

She said with a big smile on her face and with husband Joel standing next to her in nodding approval:

“When we obey God, we’re not doing it for God. I mean, that’s one way to look at it. We’re doing it for ourselves, because God takes pleasure when we’re happy. That’s the thing that gives him the greatest joy this morning. So I want you to know this morning, just do good—for your own self. Do good ’cause God wants you to be happy.

When you come to church, when you worship him, you’re not doing it for God really! You’re doing it for yourself, because that’s what makes God…

View original post 474 more words





If I Could I Would

29 08 2013

Eyes Wide Open

If I could I would….

Run a marathon…
Lose the last 15 and keep it off forever…
Blog full time for Jesus and not think about paying bills…
Go back to school for my masters degree…

If I could I would…

Freeze my kids right where they’re at…
Get mama and daddy back…
Love my husband even better…
Slow life down, but stay together…

If I could I would….

Visit the holy land…
Weep in Gethsemane…
Bow at calvary and the tomb…
Gazing outward, upward, eternally…

If I could I would….

Make sure every mouth was fed…
Every single heart is led…
To Him, our One, True HOPE…
Always waiting, living, expecting..

But should I? Could I? Would I?

Really would I?

What WILL I do?

How about you?

It’s not about woulda. It’s not about shoulda. And no, it’s not about coulda.

It’s about ARE ya?

Am I?

Am I really…

View original post 666 more words





Welcome to the Family Yezha Khalyl

14 07 2013

July 8 was a Monday and just like any other Mondays, I thought it was just an ordinary day. But Hey! God’s thoughts is not our thoughts neither are His ways, so out of the ordinary it became an extraordinary for the entire family with some extra frightening news, that is.

I was here at the school doing my usual stuff and again with an another extraordinary task as that day there was an additional very young student that made his debut in our school. To make the very long story longer, I received a call from Sally, who was supposed to just have her regular Monday check up until August which is supposedly our baby’s due. She told me to go to the hospital right away because she is “already dying”, of course there was sarcasm in her voice so I didn’t react to what she just said, I asked her what’s wrong and she told me her blood pressure is way up over the roof (figuratively speaking). That is why the doctor let her stay at the hospital  to check and monitor on her blood pressure, so I went to the hospital right after that.

When I got there I couldn’t see  her in any place and when I called her, she said she was already in the Labor Room. What? Why is she in the labor room, her due was suppose to be on August that is on the Mid of August? There were so many questions in my mind during that time and all I could do was wait outside, waiting for someone to at least explain to me what is going on and what is happening to my wife. All I know is that her doctor told her to stay in the hospital for her blood and sugar to be monitored and now she is in the labor room. There were so many questions indeed and  worst of all I couldn’t call her because I don’t have a phone, my daughter got one but didn’t have any credit left…tsk tsk tsk.

We waited for more than hour outside of the Labor room until finally one of her Doctors came out and explained to me my wife’s condition and situation. Let me recall and relay it to you what I have remembered, I may leave out some details because I already have some minor problems in remembering certain things.

The Lady Doctor told me that Sally’s blood pressure is so high that they have to stabilize it first before they  could perform the CS…Whoaaa! wait!!! at the back of my mind I was asking why do they have to operate on her, is it really that necessary with her current condition? Of course since I don’t have the habit of asking questions I let the good doctor explain everything and I listened attentively.  She told me the need to cut her up and deliver the baby because of her condition and later on she told me the RISK of having the operation with her current condition. She told me that it might not be good for the baby and she(YEZHA) will have very weak lungs and will have to be incubated, there might even a chance that the baby might not make it through. It struck me but I didn’t say anything, all my mind could think is that I know that God will not abandon us and I kept on praying that I leave everything at His feet.  Then the lady Doctor told me about the RISK that Sally will be facing once she will have the operation, She told me that her blood pressure is so high there might be a risk of seizure during the operation and that there might be a non-stop bleeding during the operation which will be very difficult for them to stop it. She told me so many things during that time and all the gory details of what might transpire during the operation..in other words they were preparing me for the inevitable. With all the not so good news that has been relayed to me, all I could do was pray and asked God to be gracious to both my Wife and the baby and that whatever His will for both of them, I am willing to accept it and submit myself to it.

Then the Doctor asked my decision whether to allow them to operate on my wife, I replied to her with a question, Who’s decision was it to have the CS? The Doctor told me that it was my wife’s decision to have it right there and then and it is the best thing to do to avoid farther complications. Then, I told her that if that is what my wife wants then go ahead with the operation, she however assured me that everything she had explained might not happen to my wife but there is still that risk, I again told her to do the operation as long as it will be okay with both my wife and the baby no matter what the result would be, I already have committed  and surrendered it into the hands of God.

After relaying to me everything that I needed to know, the Doctor went back into the labor room and there Khiara and I prayed for her mom and the baby.After a couple of minutes the Doctor came out and told me that my wife would like to have a word with me, so I went inside the Labor room and wore a robe but forgot to wear a slipper…it was only when I was already inside the examination room that I realized that I was the only one who wasn’t wearing any slipper.

When I saw Sally, she was pale and there were some medical gadgets attached to her and she was in oxygen. She told me to get her things as well as the Doctors also talked to me about what will transpire during the operation. Before I left, I asked Sally if she had prayed already and she said Yes but asked me to pray with her as well, so we both prayed amidst all the chatting of the Doctors and the nurses as well as some of the interns, I asked for God’s grace and leave everything into His hands. After we prayed I didn’t realize that the Lady Doctor was watching us. After letting me sign three documents which is for her CS, Tubal Ligation and for the baby’s incubation, all of these documents were in Thai language but the lady doctor explained them to me and all I did was sign all the documents without any doubts and hesitations.after signing all of them the lady Doctor looked at me in the eyes and told me something unexpected, she said “don’t worry, I too am a Christian”. I believe it was her way of assuring me not to worry because everything will be fine and that she is on top of it all, it somehow comforted me but my thought were saying that it’s okay because God is in control of everything.

What she told lets me see God’s hands during that time, how He answered us in our prayers, how He see to it that Sally will be taken cared of by the right Doctor, one who could speak English fluently and most importantly a Doctor who believes in Him. You see that’s how good and gracious my God is, that is why when I heard all of the negative things or unpleasant news, I immediately committed them into my Father’s hand and He was there at the very moment that we needed Him the most.

Another amazing thing that God did was that even if our doctor told us that our baby will have weak lungs, the findings was way too different from what I’ve seen. Although she was incubated, she was the only one who didn’t have a life support and an oxygen to help her breath. Her only problem was that her sugar was way too low apart from that she was breathing fine and as the Doctor told me after Sally delivered the baby that they did well. One of the odd things that she couldn’t believe was that the baby’s Umbilical cord was entangled on her neck three times, which means if Sally did decide to have a normal delivery there was a chance that the baby might not make it.

Today both of them are just recuperating , the good news is we will be able to take home the baby when Sally will be released and will be allowed to go home already. Even the Doctor couldn’t believe what she saw and how every thing turned out but for me I am certain and convinced in my heart that God has planned everything way even we have asked for it.

To end my post, let me thank my NCF family for being there right away, to our Pastor and his family Ptr. Tonieth Tan, to the members of the fellowship, to Joy Sharani Castro and Sally’s Department Head Teacher Wattana, to Juvelyn, Vince(Who went to the hospital right away when he heard the news), to teacher Beth, Roda, Jonah and for those who sent their messages on my wife’s FB account, to her friends and to our family. Our heartfelt gratitude and thanks for all of your prayers.

To my wife, Thank you very much for giving us this precious and wonderful gift and I cannot thank you enough for the sacrifices that you’ve gone through all these past several months..I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND ALWAYS WILL!!!

To our Yezha, you are blessed and loved so much, we’ve been waiting for you for almost 4 years and now God granted our prayers. may you grow in God’s grace and wisdom and may your life be used for His ministry when the right time comes. Welcome to our family we love you very much.





How Beautiful Are Your Feet My Son

19 06 2013

My youngest son sometimes surprises and amazes us, he speaks of things that are only being spoken by adults. Yesterday my wife shared to me a part of their conversation, there were just the two of them on the table at that time and the rest of our kids were somewhere else.

He’s like an adult when he talks about something, I could sense that he is an observant and a deep thinker kind of a boy. He shared to his mother something about his future, take note he’s just in his 5th grade this time but that didn’t hinder him in thinking about his future and what he wants to be. Without resolve he told his mother he wants to become either a Teacher or a Pastor. Okay, both of these careers needs passion and both involves touching someone else’s lives. When he was asked why he chose these two careers, he said it is just the way it is. If he will not become a Teacher he would want to become a Pastor instead. When asked why he wanted to become  a Pastor, his reply was there is something strange that he’s feeling that someday he’s going to become a Pastor and will be preaching the Gospel all around the world.

That’s way too deep for such a young mind to think of, hey! who am I to stand against the will of God if He will use any of my sons to become His servant. Another thing I have observed with him is that he likes to read and ponder on what he’s reading in the Bible and later on give his thoughts on what he just read.

Oh! I hope and pray that indeed he will never change his mind and his desire to serve God and become one of His messengers in any part of the globe. 

To my son Kiff Zee here is something you that you should always bear in your heart, soul and mind in Isaiah 52: 7…

7 How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!

 





Let Christ Rip it Off

18 06 2013

imagesAfter more than a year of staying within the Church and School building we’ve finally moved out and found a home that we can at least call our own, it was not really what we have hoped for at first. However, because of some circumstances in which I believe our first choice was not what God wants us to live in, we chose the current house. It’s quite big actually but who are we to complain, knowing that it is close to the church and school it will be convenient for my family.

Most of our visitors expressed their appreciation saying that it is such a beautiful house, Hey! isn’t it what God wants us to have..to have the best because we are His children? Anyway, there is no doubt about it, it is indeed a beautiful house however we found several small problems as we start to dwell in it. One of them is the toilet door at the second floor, we couldn’t close the door because the old rusted door hinge gave up and it was actually blocking or preventing the door to be shut tight. What the previous tenants did was tie a straw and made it as its temporary lock to just keep the door closed. Unfortunately, if you just rely on what they’ve just made, you could see the person inside the toilet. It’s quite stupid to think that you made a temporary lock to close the door but it cannot be  totally shut.

What we did then was remove the old  rusted and broken door hinge which has been preventing the door to shut, it took me a few minutes to rip it off from its place. It was stuck and my guess is that it has been there for a very long time now which i definitely think would have given discomfort to those who were living in that house during those times. After several minutes, I finally was able to remove it and it was only then the door can be totally shut. As I ponder upon it, a thought came to my mind. Sometimes we are like the toilet door, We have Christ in our hearts and we claim that we are His children. However, there some few things from our past that we cling onto, old sins, old grudges that we refuse to let go that is why there are times we couldn’t see God’s hands in our lives. God cannot compromise sin and He never will, no matter how BIG or SMALL you may think it is as long as there is sin in our hearts. God can not  give His full blessings to us. Just like the old, rusty and broken door hinge, we have to let Christ rip it off from us because it is only by leaving everything at His feet we will be ale to find true comfort and peace. It is only then   that we will be able to have a closer and tight relationship with God if we have learned to let go of those things that constantly bothers us and hinders us from fully serving our Lord and King.

It is only by surrendering everything to Jesus that we will be able to finally live in peace and comfort even in the times of struggles and challenges that may come into our live.

Matthew 11:28-30  (KJV)

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.





Will He be Happy?

13 06 2013

Kiff Zee (Left) Dan Joe (Center) Rod Vincent (Right)

This is the question that has been asked by one of our youngest students when I asked him to show his worksheet to one of the teachers here in our school. Although my title refers to God, the question of this young boy was referring to my wife who was at that time present in the school.

You see, Dan Joe is not just your average young boy. He’s got a sharp and inquisitive mind too inquisitive that whenever he hears something new he would definitely try it out. He is also a smart kid which is evident not just in school but at their home as well.

However, one of the downside of his being too smart is that he gets bored easily. He’s often times too lazy to do his worksheet thus you need to remind him or sit with him the entire time to him from time to time  in order to finish his task.

Yesterday was different, after I handed to him his task he actually got right into it and finished it way even before lunch time. A boy is a boy and he is not concern on how his handwriting is going to look, all he wanted was to finish his task way ahead of everybody, so you can expect that it was not really that good.

Anyway, after lunch break everyone went to their usual stuff, playing, chatting and teasing each other. I was thinking of not letting him go up into the learning room anymore and just let him take his afternoon nap right away since I know that he will not be doing anything  but just bother his classmates or make those funny noises or even sing in his office…he’s a handful you know and believe you me he just don’t listen to anybody except to me and my wife and that has been proven in the next part of this post that I am going to tell you.

So, everyone was already upstairs and he was left behind. When my wife asked him if he has finished his task he said “Yes” excitedly. My wife told him to  get his worksheet and show it to her, so he went upstairs screaming “It’s TIME!!!” (We don’t have a ring bell).  I was expecting him to go down right away but it was taking him a bit too long so I went upstairs to check out not just him but the rest of the students and there I saw him sitting down and doing something on his worksheet. So I approached him and asked him, “Didn’t Teacher Sally tell you to go down and show your work to her?” DanJoe looked at me straight into the eyes and there was certain hesitation on him. Then I asked him if he’s finished with his task and he said yes. So, I said what are you waiting for, go downstairs and don’t let teacher Sally wait for you or else she’ll get angry. It was then that he asked this question, “Will she be happy?” I said yes, she’ll be happy to see your work.

He clutched his worksheet in his hands held it firmly and head to the door, so I went back checking on the other students. After several minutes I could hear one of our students telling Dan Joe to go down and I saw him standing next to the door. When he was told to go down  he head once more to the door and actually went out and goes straight to the stairs but he still didn’t go down the stairs. So, I went to him and led him downstairs and while we were going down he asked me again seeking for an assurance…”Are you sure she will be happy?”

Such a question pricked me and the kind of desire that Dan Joe have to make sure that the moment he presents his work that his teacher will be pleased at what he has done for the day. Such situation I have asked in my life is God or will God be happy with me when the time come that I will face Him and present at His feet all the things that I’ve done in this world? Will He be proud of me and will I be worthy of any rewards from Him knowing that I haven’t done much for Him?

What have I done for Him that is worthy of praise or any rewards for that matter? Is my life worthy to even be blessed knowing that most of the time I only thought of myself rather than doing the things that pleases Him? Have we even asked that question? Same question to ourselves if God is happy with our lives or is He happy with the kind of life that we are living today?

Will He, my God be pleased if He sees my achievement at the end of my day? Such question can only be answered by each one of us personally.

Colossians 3:1-4

1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.

2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.

4 When Christ, [who is] our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.





Instructions and Warnings Do We Love Them or Hate Them, Forget Them or Share Them?

12 06 2013

Reblogged from an FB Friend

Settled In Heaven Blog

SIH HALTAL ICON5) A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.
6) In the house of the righteous [is] much treasure: but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble.
7) The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of the foolish [doeth] not so.
8) The sacrifice of the wicked [is] an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright [is] his delight.  (Proverbs 15:5-8)

For the SIH Devotional On This Subject:

http://wp.me/pU88A-2qZ

View original post





15 and more Years with God

10 06 2013

anniv15, yes it’s not really that long yet but I thank God for every year that He gave us. it’s been that long since we got married and to think that I actually forgot all about it. it’s a good thing that Facebook is there to remind us of some important events of our lives, thus it was that same social network that reminded me of an important event that I am not supposed to forget.

What can I say I am just human and to think that lately I’ve been having that problem of forgetfulness, I have been wondering about it myself. I feel like it is either because of my getting matured or it is because something’s wrong inside of me. Anyway, no matter what it is what counts most is that I have committed my life to God thus I leave everything at His feet.

Just like any couple or husbands and wives, we do have some problems too, we do fight as well but we thank God that we have three wonderful kids to constantly remind us of God’s goodness. We’ve been in the lowest points of our lives for several times but one thing that we could attest to each one of you is the fact that it is here in this foreign land that we both have seen how God worked in our lives. Most importantly in the life of my wife. When she came here first, she didn’t have that same kind of faith and belief that she has now. She was tied to the old and traditional religion that teaches a different way in gaining God’s favor, it was here that God finally opened her eyes and let her see the One and True God that deserves to be lifted up and worshiped. And ever since she opened her heart to God everything came to place and we have seen God’s blessings and goodness.

Last Saturday we have celebrated our anniversary with just a simple celebration, actually it cannot even be considered to be a celebration as there were only few menus on the table. A meal with a few and close friends as well as a family from God’s fold. Our simple celebration were attended by our Pastor and his family and some of the members of  our fellowship here in Thailand.

We may not have a grand celebration but what matters most to us is that we were with people who are truly close to us and considers us as family as well. Indeed, it was just a simple celebration but what matters most and what is more important is that we celebrated it with the fact that both I and my wife is committed to serve our God who has given us everything that we have now whether it is Bog or small. May our marriage be always pleasing in His sight up until that day that He will call us home.

To my wife who is always there beside me through thick and thin and through all my tantrums, I love you very much and thank you for the wonderful gifts that you gave me through our precious kids.

Happy 15th anniversary and more years in God’s ministry with you.





Responsibility Outweighs Opportunities

28 05 2013

lord-take-my-hand-and-lead-me-500When I was still new here in Thailand, I was so bored that I persisted in praying to God that He will give me something to do. At first my attention were diverted into earning a  living since most of the Filipinos I met here in Nonthaburi are working. I tried doing that to the extent of doing something which I know was wrong. I indeed got a very short shot at it, I was able to teach but in just a so short period. I didn’t have  a problem with the school neither did the school had a problem with me. They even wanted me to stay but unfortunately the agency doesn’t want it to happen. So, it never did happen, I later on realized that God’s plan was entirely different as to what I have in mind as He said in the book of Isaiah 55:8-9 KJV…

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

So, after a couple of years of waiting for God’s plan to manifest in my life it finally came to us 2 years ago. He entrusted to us a ministry that I never dream would be possible especially that we are actually foreigners here in Thailand. God let us open an ACE school ministry, at first we were a bit uncertain since there were so many struggles that we have gone through. However, despite of all the challenges and problems we continued to tread the path that God has lead us. It was then that my family saw God’s goodness and hands in showing us His abundant blessings if we only do His will. I started to be involved in our church activities and ministries alongside with the school. We’ve struggled financially and personally but God was always there to lift us up even when those people whom we trusted turned their backs on us.

Today, my heart and soul is in the ministry that God has entrusted to me there are even times that the thought of leaving such ministry scares me. I can’t understand why i felt that way but God showed me the answer to it. He put me to the test by offering me irresistible opportunities that I would desperately grab if it had been offered to me 2 years ago.  I tried to find a way to work it out but my mind kept on bothering me and the thought of not being able to fulfill my commitment to the people that trusted me bothered me. Here it is two opportunities that offers financial sustenance especially that another member of the family is on its way. The more that such worldly matters pressure me the more that the spirit tells me and asked me this question over and over again. “Did God ever abandon you in good times and bad times all these years?”

That question always leads me back to my senses knowing that for several times God literally showed how He works in our lives, i may not earn as much as some of the Filipinos that are here. but one thing is sure, I am content, satisfied and have that peace of mind that some of these people doesn’t have. most importantly i have my God who I can rely on come what may. Does with boldness and with God’s grace and wisdom I was able to resist and turn down the two opportunities and I also hope and pray that god will continue to strengthen me to resist any opportunities that are still on its way. For me the RESPONSIBILITY that God has entrusted to me outweighs all of the opportunities that this world has to offer, after all our Lord Jesus Christ Himself said this in Matthew 6:33 “But seek YE first the kingdom of God, and all THESE THINGS shall be added unto you.” that promise is good enough for me to hang onto.

My decisions may sound stupid and irrational, but i know that this is what God wants me to do and this is what was God’s plan for me and my family that is why He lead us into Thailand.





Money Over Ministry

17 05 2013

money_churchI’ve been in Thailand for almost 5 years now and I always wondered as to how it feels to actually have a permanent or a stable job here. I see my fellow Filipinos and Christians earning as much as 30,000 baht a month and there were times that I asked myself as to when will I be able to actually have the same kind of opportunity.

I’ve never asked for anything for myself as well as since my last try in finding a teaching job failed because of lack of  “PAPER”  qualifications, I’ve actually given up to that thought. Until God provided a job for me. We’ve started from scratch and invested a few thousand baht and after that God did the rest for us. I became so attached to what I am doing that even if I am not receiving anything I still find pleasure and contentment in my “JOB”.

There was a point in time that I’ve asked myself, what if there will come a time that an irresistible offer will come my way, will I pack up and leave everything behind and go for the BIG BUCKS rather than working on God’s ministry? So, okay..that crossed my mind and often times I just shrug it off because I thought it is impossible.

Just a week ago, an offer came through my pastor,at first I actually remember declining the Teaching DEMO offer. When my wife heard about it she asked me if how long will it take, I said it’s just for two days and one night since it is going to be in a province here in Thailand.. that would be Sakhon Nakhon. After 4 years of not being able to actually talk in front of students or any Board of panelists I took it as a challenge testing myself if I now have the courage to actually talk in front of these types of people. Thus, I retracted my decision and informed pastor about it.

The DEMO show turn out to be a success despite of some untoward and undesirable events that happened to me personally..I don’t want to get into detail since it was literally GROSS and disgusting. Skipping on some details I’ll proceed to the part where we were already heading back to Bangkok, one of the presenters who were with us got a call from the Boss of the agency who sent us to that Teaching Demo Job. I later on learned that she’ve been offered an office job, we were all happy for her and at the back of mind came a thought “What if I too will be offered a job in the office, will I leave our school ministry and work for them?” I didn’t give much thought to it until we’ve finally arrived home. i was about to sleep when Sally (my wife) told me to call Pastor right away because there is something he wants to talk to me. I said, What? I just arrived and it’s already past midnight, however, knowing that it was our pastor and were the one who gave me the finished job I called him.

It was there that I heard the same offer that has been offered to one of  the presenters, the offer was actually enticing and tempting all i have to do was work in an office with a computer and look for “FARANGS” (Foreigners) who are interested in Teaching Jobs and basically deal with them.  It was a tailor made offer, a kind of offer that literally fit my skills and my capabilities. I couldn’t remember what was actually my answer but I believe I declined right then and there knowing that I have bigger responsibilities in the school.

What was Ironic is that it kept on bugging me and there was this still small voice persuading me and let me think of what I could do with the 20,000 baht a month offer if I work in the agency’s office. It was then that i started feeling the pressure, I was literally torn in two..the desire to finally earn and be able to receive a physical money and at the same time I was worrying about the school, what will happen to it and the people I’ve committed to help.

It’s true I have declined the offer the first time, but later on ideas came pouring in and then the idea of taking the job working as  part-time  and be able to work and continue my responsibility to the school. I was so convinced with the idea that I immediately informed pastor about it, he was naturally happy because as far as I can tell he saw that the job fits me. He then called his Boss and got the approval and he relayed the good news  to me right away. After hearing that supposedly good news I couldn’t  feel any kind of happiness, instead I felt something deep inside me crumbled and was grieved. I felt burdened and my countenance fell, the job was mine and I can actually take it and choose any day I want or even decide to work full time if I want to.

After our conversation, i put the phone back to its cradle with a heavy heart. that particular moment I couldn’t understand why I felt that way. This was what I’ve been yearning and desiring all through the past 4 years, a job that earns and will be able to help me provide  things that I WANT in life. All I have to do was report to the head office and the job is mine, that night i couldn’t sleep and I prayed that God will give me wisdom to decide whether if this is the right thing to do.

You may ask, what was the problem since my deal was actually just for a part time job, I can decide which day should I work in the office. Here is the thing that bothered me during that night, even if I may decide to work part time I am the kind of person who gets attached to what I am doing. The moment that i got hooked to it, it would be very impossible for me to do the other tasks efficiently. That scared the heck out of me, my mind just couldn’t bare the fact that there will come a day when I am totally dedicated to my job that I will finally decide to let go of the ministry that God has entrusted me. it was during this time that i started to look back at God’s goodness to my family, how He took care of us all these years even if it is only my wife who earns a decent and sustainable income. God showed me the times that he was always there and there was never a time that we were WANTING, He was there all the time, His hands and His blessings are visible through the good things that is happening to the School ministry. Who am I not to see and pretend not to be able to acknowledge it…Who am I to turn my back on God when He never did that to me even way back when we were still in the Philippines. it was then that I realized how stupid and how ignorant I am to decide and grab that enticing and tempting offer just to take me away from what I have committed myself into. I know that Pastor’s recommendation was of good intention but i just could bare the fact that I will leave God’s blessings and exchange it for temporal and useless things of these world.

It’s true that there are times that I worry for my kids and for my family, but my God is my Great Provider and He’s been doing that to my family all these years. It was these thoughts that finally gave me the right and final decision, to decline the offer that was presented to me. After I’ve made that decision, that huge lump and heavy feeling that was in my heart was lifted and whether you believe me or not i don’t feel any regret to what I’ve decided. I believe it was a Test as to how strong is my faith and trust towards my God, no matter what will happen in the future…My God got me covered!